The family is the most sacred of institutions – all other institutions – nation-states consumed in nationalism, corporations, business partnerships, are meaningless and ephemeral like The Rise and Fall of Great Powers. Our jobs or the largeness of our homes are never more important than our families.
A Child never lies.
Here are some cute stories:
Danny is three or four years old. His grandparents own a women’s clothing boutique in New York City. They have Danny wrapped in one of their arms. He sees a famous clothing designer berating a beleaguered employee, who sits there in silence. Then, the famous designer comes to greet Danny and his grandparents. Danny blurts out without hesitation, “You are a mean man!” His grandparents are silent in embarrassment but they know that the little boy has spoken the truth. And, what can a famous designer say to the truth if it hurts?
Another one: I heard this one 12 years ago from a classmate at Vassar. Here is a five-year old child that hears Santa Claus climbing down the chimney. He sneaks downstairs and sees his parents laying presents underneath the Christmas Tree. The boy yells, “Liars, liars, you are liars!
Poor parents: What can they do?
The parent has to develop empathy for the growing child and the child, as he or she grows into adulthood, must remember everything that the parent did for its emotional and physical safety. This role is obviously difficult because generally we’re all playing with an incomplete deck. If we learn to appreciate before we judge how it could have been better, we can learn to make it better.
So, if you are angry at your child for being less than your vision of him or her in your version of him or her in Plato’s cave, tell your child how much the world had a hand at smashing some of your dreams and hopes. If you are a child angry with your parent for being too strict or too absent, remember what has been done for you. If your family is for you, who can be against you?
A Child never lies.
Here are some cute stories:
Danny is three or four years old. His grandparents own a women’s clothing boutique in New York City. They have Danny wrapped in one of their arms. He sees a famous clothing designer berating a beleaguered employee, who sits there in silence. Then, the famous designer comes to greet Danny and his grandparents. Danny blurts out without hesitation, “You are a mean man!” His grandparents are silent in embarrassment but they know that the little boy has spoken the truth. And, what can a famous designer say to the truth if it hurts?
Another one: I heard this one 12 years ago from a classmate at Vassar. Here is a five-year old child that hears Santa Claus climbing down the chimney. He sneaks downstairs and sees his parents laying presents underneath the Christmas Tree. The boy yells, “Liars, liars, you are liars!
Poor parents: What can they do?
The parent has to develop empathy for the growing child and the child, as he or she grows into adulthood, must remember everything that the parent did for its emotional and physical safety. This role is obviously difficult because generally we’re all playing with an incomplete deck. If we learn to appreciate before we judge how it could have been better, we can learn to make it better.
So, if you are angry at your child for being less than your vision of him or her in your version of him or her in Plato’s cave, tell your child how much the world had a hand at smashing some of your dreams and hopes. If you are a child angry with your parent for being too strict or too absent, remember what has been done for you. If your family is for you, who can be against you?
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